


Trust Me So

by AlwaysAmused



Series: Born of Ice, Raised with Fire [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Frigga, Blood, Breakups, F/M, Fluff, Frigga POV, Frigga/Odin fluff, Gen, Genderfluid Loki, Jötnar, Kid Loki, Loki Feels, Loki's Lips Sewn Shut, ON HIATUS!!!!, Odin POV, Odin means well, Post-Break Up, Pre-Thor (2011), Teen Frigga, Teen Odin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-25 03:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2606774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysAmused/pseuds/AlwaysAmused
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of oneshots told from Frigga and/or Odin's point of view, in no chronological order. Part of my ongoing series, so some of them might not make sense without the context of said series, but a few can be read as stand-alone fics.</p><p>Chapter 9 is just me asking the readers of the whole series questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Suspicions of Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel.

When Odin had told her that Loki was under suspicion for letting the Jotnar into Asgard, Frigga had begun to think. Of course, it hadn't been the first priority right then; Odin had been about to fall into the Odinsleep and Loki was still nowhere to be found.

But of course, Loki had come back. He always eventually came home again, and when he slipped into the room, his hair and clothes were mussed and damp and he wasn't wearing any shoes. She'd vaguely wondered about that, but Odin went through with his plan anyway. He made Loki King, and Loki hadn't wanted it. He had looked hesitant, shocked and even afraid when he figured out Odin's intentions and Frigga couldn't help but see a sliver of guilt as well.

Odin had fallen asleep only a few minutes after Loki had left the room, Gungnir held uncertainly in his hand. Frigga had helped Odin into the bed and said "He is very much like you."

"Is he?" Odin asked, breathless from exhaustion.

"Yes," Frigga said. "And if he did let the Jotnar into the Vault, he will have a reason. Perhaps it is a twisted reason, but it will have a reason nonetheless. Loki has a reason for everything he does, even if it is not so clear."

"You will ask him about it?" Odin asked, eyes only half open. Frigga smiled and bent down, kissing his cheek.

"Of course, my love," she said. "And never fear; he has Asgard's best interest in mind."

Odin nodded and closed his eyes, murmuring "Do you think we failed him, Frigga?"

Frigga bit her lip and looked down. "We should have told him sooner. That much is clear. However, we must make do with what we have; there is no point in wishing things were different."

Odin hummed and a moment later, he was asleep. Frigga sat in a chair next to the bed and took his hand, kissing it before retreating into her thoughts.

What reason would Loki have for letting the Frost Giants in? It was clearly to stop the coronation from happening. _Is he truly so envious of Thor?_  She thought, then shook her head. _No, of course not; Loki didn't want the throne. That much was clear when he tried to avoid it._  Loki was never one to back away from responsibility, but he had no reason to take the throne away from Thor...

Frigga shook her head again to clear it. What did she know for sure? She knew that Thor wasn't ready for the throne, and that Loki didn't want it, but took it because of his responsibility. She knew that Loki had no idea he was Jotnar until yesterday. She also knew that Loki was a very powerful sorcerer; one of the best in the Nine Realms. As a child he had mastered a spell in a year that had taken Frigga a decade, and she had been an adult. Loki was witty and loved to learn. Given the proper spell, he could bring a couple of Frost Giants into Asgard, but without a Bifrost? Perhaps Loki was more powerful than she had thought.

What was she missing? There was something she was forgetting, but she couldn't think of what it could possibly be. There were no visions coming to her either, nothing to tell her the outcome of this. She let go of Odin's hand and took a deep breath before closing her eyes, focusing on meditation.

* * *

 It was the next day that the answer occurred to her. She remembered that Loki had asked to borrow a book on concealment from her personal collection only a few months ago. He had returned it in a month, Heimdall telling her warily that Loki had vanished from his Sight a couple of times while practicing. It had been after the announcement of Thor's coronation.

"Oh, Loki," she murmured to herself. "What have you gotten yourself into this time?" She had to ask him when he appeared again.

As it so happened, it was only a few hours later that Loki slipped into the room in his armor, helmet under his arm. He looked frustrated and anxious.

"Loki, what's wrong?" She asked.

"I went to Jotunheim to try and create a new treaty with Laufey," he said, practically collapsing into the chair on the on her left. "Unfortunately, he says there will be no negotiations until he's been promised the Casket. I've three days to decide whether I'm giving it to him or not." He made a frustrated noise and raked his fingers through his hair. "If he does not get a reply, he will take it as a signal to go ahead with this war. Neither of us truly wish for unnecessary bloodshed, but he's unwilling to cooperate until he has it."

"What is your current answer?" Frigga asked.

"I told him I would consider it," Loki replied, rubbing his eyes. He turned his head to look at Odin and muttered "I don't want this war. No one wants it except for Laufey. His sons tried to persuade him to just make the treaty with me."

Frigga bit her lip and considered for a moment, wondering whether she should ask when Loki continued "I may just have to give it to them. They will not have access to the Bifrost, so they cannot get anywhere with it. And it's not like we use it; it's just locked up in the Vault..."

"Loki," she said suddenly. "May I ask you a question?" Loki's head lolled back so he looked at the ceiling and closed his eyes.

"Mhmm." She hesitated a moment too long. Loki opened his eyes and looked at her, concerned. "Mother, are you alright? Father will wake, if that is what you fear; we must have hope."

Frigga's heart went out to her child. He was truly a good son. She shook her head and said "No, no. It's not that, it's..." She hesitated again and looked down before asking "Loki, did you let the Jotnar into the Vault? And if so, why?"

Loki blinked at her rapidly for a few moments before saying "Sorry? Did- Could you repeat that?"

She repeated herself keeping on a calm mask while she thought _Oh, Loki, why did you do it, child?_

Loki looked like he was considering the question, like she had asked him what he thought of the weather. He nodded slowly for a moment before saying "I'm impressed. How did you figure it out?"

Frigga's heart sank. He didn't sound angry, or upset, just... empty. Like he was tired. She swallowed a bit before saying "Hogun, Volstagg, and Sif told the Allfather of their suspicions. And he told me before he fell into his slumber. I then remembered that you were trying to learn a concealing spell a few years ago. Now why did you do it?"

Loki looked away and shifted in his chair, much like a child that has been caught lying. "To prove a point."

"And what was that?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. _Ah, so there_ is _a reason_. Loki got up and walked to the door, clearly not wanting to answer. She sighed inwardly and called "Loki, what point could you have possibly been trying to make?"

He stopped, and sighed, bowing his head before looking back, guilt and regret and sadness written there in every feature. Frigga felt her heart break as he said quietly "Mother, I swear to you I will explain myself soon. I will accept any punishment that the Allfather sees fit when he wakes, but until then, I've a decision to make and a war to prepare for. Excuse me."

And then he was gone, quick and silent as a shadow, leaving Frigga to her thoughts. "Oh, my son," she said aloud. "Why did you not come to me? Why did you tell no one of your troubles?" She allowed her calm mask to break away and she wiped her eyes. "What made to mistrust us so? Where did we go wrong?"

She took Odin's hand again, wishing he were awake, wishing for comfort and wishing she understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For "hebravelyranaway," who gave me the idea to write this. Takes place during "Am I Cursed?" Chapter 9.


	2. A Gender Not Unheard Of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.

It was late at night, and Frigga was sitting in her study, a book in her hands, a cup of tea on the small table beside her. The light was burning lower, and she felt herself drifting now and then. She knew she should probably go to sleep, however the book was quite thrilling.

A soft tap at the door stirred her from the book. She blinked a few times and put the book down, calling “Come in.”

The door opened and a green-eyed face peered up at her from behind it. She smiled gently and said “Loki. Come on, child. What troubles you? A nightmare?”

Loki shook his head and shuffled into the room, closing the door behind him. He went over and sat on the sofa next to her, eyes wide.

“Mother, is it normal to sometimes feel like a... a _girl_?” He asked, fidgeting with the blanket draped around his shoulders.

“What do you mean, my child?” She asked, reaching out to smooth back his short hair.

“I mean...” Loki frowned. “Sometimes I wake up... and I'm a girl. When I wake up. I've changed-shifted-into a girl,” he paused, then added “I can always change back. But it's...” Loki shifted, looking a bit distressed. “It's uncomfortable.”

“I see,” Frigga said, putting her book on the table and pouring him a cup of tea. He accepted it wordlessly. She'd known for some time that Loki was a shape-shifter. “How long does this feeling usually last?”

Loki shrugged into his cup. “Days?” He offered. “It depends. And sometimes I just don't feel like a boy. But not a girl, either. I just... I'm _neither_.” He sipped his tea. “Is that normal?”

“It's... not unheard of,” Frigga put it. Loki's shoulders slumped. “What would make you more comfortable, darling?”

Loki shrugged listlessly, looking at his cup. “I don't know.”

“Would you like to dress more feminine?” She offered. Loki's eyes widened and he shook his head.

“No!” He paused awkwardly. “Well... yes. But I don't want to... I'm already so...”

Frigga's heart broke. _Different_. He was already so different from other children, what might they think if he suddenly began to dress more feminine? She sighed and put his cup aside, picking him up into her lap, even though he was a tad too old for that. It mattered not.

“The offer still stands,” she told him. “My love, you may dress however you wish. I could bring it up with your father if you-”

“No!” Loki looked up at her with wide eyes. “Please, don't. I-I don't want him to-”

“Alright, alright,” she assured him, stroking his hair. “I won't tell. I'll leave that up to you, if you so choose to tell.”

“You won't tell Thor either, will you?” He asked, pressing his head to her chest.

“Of course not, darling,” she said and kissed his temple. “Not if you don't want me to.”

“I don't,” Loki murmured, fingers curling around the fabric of her dress. “Thank you.”

She smiled sadly and continued to stroke his hair. He was so young, too young, to have such difficulties being different. Frigga encouraged him when she could, teaching him magic when she'd learned that he had been teaching himself from books. He was so painfully clever and affectionate. He already wanted to please and to prove himself. But he was still only a child; a fact that Odin seemed to forget. Thor was too, but he was older and extroverted, whilst Loki preferred to stay indoors, away from the loudness of the training fields. He loved to read and drank up knowledge like a sponge, and others, both children and adults, found it strange.

He also had the uncanny ability to tell when people were lying, and often revealed secrets he had learned, truths that people wanted to forget. So much so that Frigga had had to tell him that people didn't like to hear some truths.

But he was a good boy, and a good son. He was gentle, and kind, and so passionate about magic. Frigga feared that Asgard would crush him under the weight of responsibilities and expectations. He disliked raised voices, and was too sensitive, so observant. She'd had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that he wouldn't notice what people said about it.

 _He's so small for his age,_ Frigga thought, even as she looked down at him. He was sleeping now. The child was only four-hundred and ninety years, and already Thor had begun to ignore him, focusing instead upon fighting lessons. Thor, unlike Loki, _loved_ weapons training. On his first day, he excelled, handling every weapon he touched with precision and strength. Loki should have already started his training, however they had put it off. He was still so _small_ , so _fragile_.

They hadn't been sure of Loki's gender when Odin had first brought him. The Jotnar were hermaphrodite, after all, and they were unsure of what he would want to be called. Eventually, they'd been forced to choose, since the court had demanded to know whether the new possible heir was a boy or girl. Odin had finally said _a boy_ , but Frigga wondered sometimes what might have happened had they chosen the other. Perhaps Loki would have been treated a little less harshly, judged a little less. In the long run, it probably would have been better, however Loki had simply accepted the gender and had gone into it. So what could she do? And now he said that he sometimes felt like a girl. She sighed softly and stood, picking him up to carry him back to his bedroom.

Loki opened his eyes halfway when she tucked him in, murmuring something she couldn't distinguish. “What was that, my Loki?”

“I love you, Mama,” Loki repeated, blinking at her sleepily. She smiled.

“I love you too, darling,” she whispered and kissed his temple. He sighed and smiled before falling asleep again. She smoothed back his hair one last time, then turned the light out, closing the door behind her. Once it was closed, she picked up her skirts and went to her and Odin's bedroom. Hopefully, this time, she could convince him to finally tell the child the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was just supposed to be the first chapter, however I got this idea into my head while I was writing the next part of the series, and it refused to leave. Loki is about eight years old in this one.


	3. Lullabies to Soothe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel.

Loki was ill again. The child often got ill, but it never failed to worry Frigga. Odin got worried as well; she could see it in his eyes. Even more worrisome was when Loki had nightmares; he had nightmares often, however they only seemed to get worse when he was ill. Being the lighter sleeper, it was usually Frigga who got up to sooth her youngest son, staying with him until he fell asleep again.

Tonight was one such night. Loki's cries could be heard from his bedroom just down the hall, and Frigga pulled on her dressing-gown as she hurried to Loki's room. But before she could reach the room, Loki's cries dissolved to a softer whimpering. Frowning, Frigga moved closer, peering into the room, only to find Odin sitting on the edge of Loki's bed, stroking the boy's short hair and singing softly.

After listening for a few moments, Frigga realized with a jolt that he was singing in Jotniri. Her mouth opened slightly at the sight and it was then that she remembered that Odin's mother, Bestla, had _been_ Jotnar. Frigga had known that Bestla had been Jotnar, but she often wore an Aesir skin, much like Loki did. She had also been a bit small for a Jotun, but not by much. She had been the same size as Odin's father, Bor, and he had been just past six feet tall. No one had ever thought much of it; in fact, Frigga wondered just how many people now remembered that their former Queen had been Jotnar. From what Frigga remembered, their marriage had been to try and create an alliance; an alliance that Laufey promptly broke when he tried to take Midgard.

Frigga wondered what Bestla would do now, when so much of Asgard called for Jotnar blood.

Odin finished the lullaby, and bent to kissed Loki on the forehead before getting up. Frigga knocked gently against the doorframe to announce her presence, and Odin looked around at her. She smiled gently and walked in, placing a hand on her husband's shoulder. “How is he?”

“His fever hasn't broken yet,” Odin murmured. Frigga sighed and embraced him.

“We mustn't loose hope, my love,” she said. “He has been ill before.”

“And he will get better again, I know,” he replied. He looked down at Loki.

“You still worry,” Frigga said. “As do I. Come, let us leave him to his slumber.”

Odin nodded and allowed her to take him back to their bedroom. She got into the bed and said “What song was that? It was Jotniri.”

“I am unsure of what its true name is,” Odin replied, pulling back the covers and laying beside her. “My mother used to sing it.”

“Mm. It's nice,” she said, smiling as she turned over to face him. She then closed her eyes. “Goodnight, my love.”

“Goodnight,” Odin murmured in reply, sounding deep in thought. She opened her eyes again and looked up at him a moment.

“Odin, whatever is wrong?” She asked softly.

“Hmm? Nothing, my dear,” he brushed off. “'Tis nothing.” She frowned and gave him A Look. He chuckled at her, reaching up to brush a lock of her hair behind her ear. His smile slowly faded, however, and he murmured “Was I right to take him, Frigga, for whatever reasons I may have had? Or did I overstep some boundary?”

Frigga pursed her lips thoughtfully. “You found Loki alone in a temple. Abandoned or no, he might have died had you not taken him, and I think that, my love, is what matters in the end.”

Odin nodded. “Yes. But was he _abandoned_ there? Or just lost in the midst of battle?” He sighed. “He may not be directly of my blood, Frigga. But I have long since abandoned the thoughts of uniting Asgard and Jotunheim.” More quietly, he added “He is my son.”

“And mine,” Frigga replied. “And darling, we won't get everything right. Not every time. You know that.”

Odin sighed and closed his eyes, murmuring “I knew there was a reason I married you.”

Frigga grinned and propped herself up, looking down upon her husband's face. “And what reason might that be, hmm?”

Odin opened his eyes and looked up at her. “Your wisdom,” He replied.

“Mm,” she tilted her head. “And?”

“Your intelligence,” he said. She grinned.

“And?”

“Your beauty.”

“ _And_?”

“Your grace.”

“ _Odin_ ,” she scolded, but laughed. He smiled up at her and she kissed him.

He stroked her face and murmured “And because you have stolen my heart.” She smiled and settled down again, satisfied. “Goodnight, my love,” he said fondly.

“Goodnight,” she replied softly and waved a hand towards the candles to put them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This oneshot was encouraged by a Swedish lullaby called "Byssan Lull." You can listen to the version I'm using [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeYPyLwhTBU)
> 
> In mythology, Odin's mother Bestla is Jotnar. Don't worry, this will eventually tie into things.
> 
> _Eventually._
> 
> (Meaning idk when)


	4. Seven Days of Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE MYTH OF LOKI GETTING HIS LIPS SEWN SHUT. IF YOU DON'T LIKE GORE, I RECOMMEND SKIPPING THIS CHAPTER. Just saying. There isn't a lot, and you don't actually see Loki's lips getting sewn, however this story isn't rated for graphic depictions of violence, seeing as this may just be the only chapter like this.
> 
> Breif Odin POV!
> 
> For Loki's POV, see chapter 4 of _Different Kinds of Pain_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.
> 
> If you didn't read the chapter summary, go do it just in case, okay?

Loki was missing.

Not in the sense that he was hiding, as he usually did. After all, Heimdall could always find him, if it was ever truly important to find him. It rarely was important, and Heimdall respected the privacy of people in the Nine Realms, so it was Frigga and Odin had only ever found a few of Loki's hiding places. Heimdall told them that he wasn't in danger, and whether or not he was in the palace, and Odin dropped the matter.

This was different. Heimdall had informed them that Loki had gone to Nidavellir only about a week ago, then again when Loki had gone just the other day. It had only been an hour or so later that Heimdall had sent a messenger with the news. He couldn't see or hear Loki; the boy was shrouded with magic, like he someone had plucked him out of the Nine somewhere. Heimdall searched Nidavellir, then Vanaheim, then Alfheim. All of Loki's usual hiding places. Nothing turned up.

And so Frigga began to panic. Odin promised her he would gain permission from Nidavellir's King to search the Realm. Frigga tried to remain calm, but she could tell Thor was angry, saying they should simply go and look for Loki and apologize to the King of Nidavellir later. Odin snapped at him.

“We are all concerned for Loki, Thor,” Frigga said. “But we _cannot_ simply enter Nidavellir and demand they give us Loki. Anyone is allowed into Nidavellir, however we're talking about a possible kidnapping. To injure one of the Dwarves could mean war. No; we must be sensible about this.”

Thor didn't look happy with this. “Why did he go?” Odin growled. “What could he possibly have wanted?”

“What do the Dwarves even do?” Thor asked, frowning.

“They are craftsmen, darling,” Frigga sighed. “The best in the Nine Realms. It is rumored they can make anything; for example, they made Gungnir and Mjolnir.”

Thor's eyes widened. “Craftsmen...” He went quiet for a moment.

“Are you alright, darling?” Frigga said, looking concerned.

“Fine,” Thor mumbled. He walked off and Frigga looked after him, sighing.

It took nearly two days, but they finally got permission to search for Loki. Odin left with a party, and Frigga stayed to look over Asgard, praying that Loki came home safe and sound.

* * *

A week after Loki's disappearance, Heimdall spotted him again, locked in a cellar of two Dwarves. Odin had only just come back with the search party, but when he heard the news, he went back, alone this time.

“How bad is it?” Odin asked Heimdall before going. Heimdall narrowed his eyes and Looked.

“Very, my King,” the Gatekeeper replied. “He will need immediate medical assistance when he returns.”

Odin clenched his jaw and nodded, then was off.

He ended up at the house fifteen minutes later, knocking. It was opened shortly, and the Dwarf peered down at him, blinking.

“May I help you?” He said, surprising Odin; usually Dwarves spoke quickly.

“I am looking for my son,” Odin growled. “A small one, about this tall, with black hair and green eyes.”

“Oh, him,” the Dwarf shrugged. “Come in. I am Brokk.”

Odin followed and waited as Brokk looked around a shelf, opening drawers and such until he came back up, holding a brown package. “This is what he came for, however he evaded payment.”

“And the payment was?” Odin asked, narrowing his eyes at the package.

“Originally, gold. However he hadn't enough, so we fixed another price,” he said.

“And it _was_?” Odin repeated impatiently.

“His head,” Brokk replied with a shrug. “However, he said we couldn't take any of his neck, as it was never promised to us.”

“I want him back,” Odin growled. “You can keep... whatever this is,” he placed the package on a table.

“Take it,” Brokk said, picking up the package and putting it into a bag. “He will have hopefully learned his lesson. A price has been paid.” He turned and said “Wait here. I'll bring him.”

Odin stood as Brokk walked into another room. There was the noise of something heavy being moved, a _kthunk_ noise, and dragging. Odin clenched his jaw again and took a sharp intake of breath as Brokk came back in, dragging a half-walking Loki towards him. He then let Loki go and pushed him down, forcing Loki to his knees before Odin. Odin looked down at the boy and his heart almost stopped; Loki was covered in blood and dirt and other bodily fluids, eyes dull and slowly blinking at the floor. His arms were tied behind his back, and he was half-struggling to breath.

His mouth was sewn shut. Neat black rows, cross-stitched over his lips, and covered in dried blood.

You've your kin,” Brokk said. “Leave.”

“Untie him,” Odin growled dangerously. Brokk narrowed his eyes at him.

“Why should I?” He asked. Odin's mind worked quickly for an answer.

“He is too weak to walk,” Odin said. “I cannot carry him easily with his arms tied behind his back.”

Brokk looked at him a moment longer, then sighed, picking up a pair of wire-cutters from the table and snipping the rope around Loki's arms. They fell limply to his side and Loki moaned softly, painfully, falling forwards. Odin quickly knelt and caught him, then slid his arm under his knees, picking the boy up, pressing his face into his collar. Once he made sure Loki was secure, Odin turned and said “Thank you, Brokk.”

The Dwarf was sitting back at the workbench, and was fiddling with some bit of metal. He appeared not to notice Odin, so Odin turned and left, leaving the door open behind him. Odin looked down at his son; Loki's eyes were half open, and tears were leaking down his cheeks. Odin hushed and said “It's alright now, Loki. It's alright. I'm here. I'm here. You're safe.”

Loki whimpered and nuzzled back into Odin's collar. The boy's nose was freezing, but Odin heard him sigh softly, relaxing a bit. He looked up and called “Heimdall, bring us home.”

The Bifrost exploded around them in a burst of light and Loki all but screamed, almost animal-like, hands weakly clutching at Odin's cloak. Odin placed a hand on the back of the boy's head and whispered “Shh. Hush now, my boy. You're alright. You're okay. I've got you, see? I've got you.”

Loki seemed to calm down again and he opened his eyes, wincing, then whimpering. When they got back to the palace, Loki managed to open his eyes and look up at him with a bit of clarity. It didn't Odin's notice that people were staring at them, most sickened by the sight. Loki peered over his shoulder and noticed as well. Odin then took to glaring at those who stared as Loki began to hyperventilate, eyes tearing again. When he whined, Odin stopped and said “Shh, my boy. You're safe. You're _safe_. Would you like to walk?”

Loki's wandering eyes looked up at him, a bit unfocused. He blinked, then nuzzled Odin again, shaking his head once or twice. Odin continued until Loki's breathing hitched at the noise of someone retching. “Ignore them,” he murmured. “They do not matter.”

Loki nodded, head still buried in his collar. He remained that way until Odin reached the Healing Rooms. He put Loki into a chair and knelt, placing a hand on Loki's knee. “Wait here; I'll be back in a moment.” Loki didn't reply, but Odin placed a reassuring hand on his head before going off to find Eir, only to find Frigga with her.

When they got back, Loki was gone. Odin swore and looked around at the guards. “Find him!” Odin shouted, and they all scurried off. Frigga placed a hand on his arm and said quickly “He can't have gone far.”

Odin nodded. “You go that way, I'll go this way. We'll find him quicker.”

* * *

It took them half of an hour to find Loki again, mostly because Frigga had underestimated her son's strength. She eventually arrived at the boy's bedroom, a guard at her heels, and looked around before hearing noises coming from the bathroom. She hurried over and stopped at the doorway, hand flying to her mouth. Loki was sitting, limply leaned up against the wall, a pair of shears and a pile of bloody string next to him.

“oh, my dear child,” she said, horrified, and pulled him into her lap, stroking his hair as he cried silently. She looked up at the guard who stood dumbly by the door and said “Get Eir!”

“Thir'sy,” Loki whispered, almost inaudibly. “'Ama... Thir'sy...”

“Of course, my love, of course,” she said, voice shaking as she waved a hand. A glass flew over to her and she filled it with water, then pressed it to his mangled lips. He sipped slowly and Frigga stroked his hair back. There were bloodied holes around his lips, and water seeped through every now and then, leaking down his chin. She took a washcloth and wet it before wiping around his face, cleaning away some of the blood and sweat before Eir came, Odin right behind her. The Healer knelt and Loki opened his eyes to blink at her.

“Hello, Loki,” Eir said kindly, uncorking a vial of purple potion. “Drink this, please.” She pressed it to his lips and Loki willingly opened his mouth, drinking he entire thing. He sighed as his eyes slipped closed and Eir said “Bring him to the Healing Rooms; I need to take a closer look at him.”

Frigga nodded and handed Loki over to Odin, who picked him up and carried him again. Frigga walked next to him. They laid him on a bed and Eir cut his clothes off. There were bruises around his arms where the ropes had been, and Frigga said “How bad is it?”

“He's malnourished,” Eir said. “Dehydrated, certainly, almost to a dangerous level. I'm fairly sure...” She pressed against his arm, and suddenly pressed on it, popping it back into place. “Dislocated shoulder. The tendons in the other one are strained, and there's some bruising. It'll be sore, but fine.” She moved on to his lips, taking them in her fingers. “You said they were... sewn?”

Odin nodded once and Frigga remembered the pile of black and bloodied string. Eir nodded. “Not an unusual punishment for Dwarves,” she murmured. “They don't feel pain on the same level that other races do, however even this would be uncomfortable to say the least.”

“Will he be...?” Frigga asked softly. Eir sighed.

“I think, physically, he will be fine,” she said. “We'll keep him on a diet when he wakes to try and gain back some of the weight he's lost, and get some fluids into him. After that, we have to wait until he wakes to see how bad it is.” She looked up at Odin.

“I know you'll be angry at him later,” she said. “But try not to lecture him the _instant_ he wakes, understand?”

Odin nodded once and Eir straightened, waving a hand at Loki. He floated and she led him to a more private room, asking Frigga and Odin to leave so she could wash and dress him in something clean.

As they waited, Frigga drew a sharp intake of breath. Odin looked up at her immediately and whispered “Oh, my love.”

Frigga broke down, pressing her hands to her mouth and eyes as Odin comforted her. Stroking her hair, soothing. “Never fear, Frigga,” he murmured. “He'll be fine. Eir said he'll be fine, you need not worry.”

But Frigga couldn't stop. She slipped her arms around Odin and sobbed. “I was s-so scared,” she gasped. “He- I couldn't- There was nothing I could _do_!”

“I know,” Odin murmured. “I know, my love, I do. But he's safe now. He's _home_.”

Frigga nodded and swallowed, beginning to calm down. By the time she was finished, Eir came out and said “You may stay with him for as long as you like, however it is unlikely he'll wake for a few days, to helo him recover.”

“Thank you, Eir,” Frigga said, standing. Eir nodded and pulled out a handkerchief, offering it to her.

“Of course, my Queen,” she said and Frigga thanked her again as she took the handkerchief, wiping her eyes. Before she left, Eir said “I'll send someone in a few hours to check his vitals, however he should be fine. If you would like to take supper in here, I can arrange that as well.”

“Thank you,” Frigga said yet again, sitting in the chair next to Loki's bed, taking his cold, pale hand. It was so pale it looked nearly blue. In fact...

Frigga quickly placed a glamour over Loki, replacing the barely visible blue with a slightly paler version of his Aesir skin. Odin noticed and frowned slightly, but said nothing. A few minutes passed and she said softly “Why did he go to them, Odin?”

Odin blinked, looking down at Loki. Then, he said “I haven't looked yet.”

_Whatever it was, nothing is worth_ this _,_ Frigga thought and stroked Loki's hair back, then bent, kissing his temple.

Loki slept on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I's 12-fucking-20 in the fucking morning and I'm tired as shit, and my profanity filter's g-o-n-e GONE, but I drank a cup of caffeinated tea at about seven so I could finish up some schoolwork UGH.
> 
> Anyway. Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always nice, to let me know I'm not wasting my time with this series.
> 
> Oh, and this is all pretty much exploratory writing, and I didn't proofread or anything, so if there're any spelling mistakes, just send me the sentence and I'll come fix it at some point.


	5. Forgiveness Is Yet To Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alas, Odin was a fool to think that Frigga would not have words with him. Takes place after Am I Cursed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.

The fireworks had stopped an hour or so before Odin left the tower. Loki had left, possibly for good. Odin regretted that it had come to exile, but Loki had seemed cheerful enough. Hopefully it meant the boy would be willing for Odin to make amends.

The palace was almost silent as he walked through it. He reached the bedroom, opened the door, and saw Frigga sitting in the armchair. There was a book in her arms, and a cup of tea on the table beside her. She looked up at him as he closed the door, and she said "About time. Sit down."

"Frigga, my love-"

"I don't want to hear it," she said, putting the book aside. She poured him a cup of tea and he accepted it as he sat down across from her. There was silence for a moment.

"Darling, I know you're upset," he said, treading carefully. "However-"

"However, you seem not to find your second son quite as important as your first," she said. Odin put his tea aside.

"I spoke to him before he left," he told her. "About an hour ago. He said it was less of an exile, and more of an adventure." He paused, then added "He loves you, you know. Very much so."

"Well of course he does," Frigga said, almost indignantly. "I'm his mother."

"And I his father," Odin replied. "AI do not understand Loki as much as I understand Thor. I love him no less, Frigga. Surely you must know that."

"But you do not value his word as much as you do Thor's," she said in exasperation. "We tell our children that if they have doubt, to come to us. If we can no longer listen to that doubt, then what have we become but liars?"

"I understand, Frigga," Odin said quietly. "I admit that I have been harsh on Loki, perhaps too much so, but I  _do_ only want what is best for him. For  _us_."

Frigga sighed and took a sip of tea. "Have you at least apologized to him?"

"I have," Odin said. "He said that it didn't make everything okay. But he knows."

"He is right." Frigga stood, waking and sitting at her vanity and started to take the pins out of her hair. "If you wish to make amends with our son, you must work for it. Please, darling, let him know you  _care_."

"He'll be fine," Odin said, standing and walking over to her. "He knows how to take care of himself."

"True," Frigga said, taking off her earrings. "But he shouldn't have to do it alone."

"He's not alone," Odin insisted. "He said he made a friend on Midgard. Darcy, I think her name was. And Thor is sure to visit him whenever possible."

Frigga sighed again, pausing in her undressing. "You are missing the  _point_ , my dear," she said. "Loki has been alone for long enough." She closed her jewelry box and Odin ran his fingers through her hair, bending to kiss her cheek.

"He is an _adult_ , Frigga," he murmured. "There is only so much we can do." He braided her hair as she stared at him through the mirror.

"Sometimes," she said, "I think perhaps you should have acted less like their King, and more like their Father."

She stood and walked past him, leaving him standing in the empty room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to write this a while ago, but never got around to it. Sorry it's short and unedited. I might go back later to change it.


	6. To Soothe An Aching Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set directly after Different Kinds of Pain. Frigga & Loki bonding. Many Loki feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.

Odin walked over to where Heimdall stood, looking straight ahead as usual. "My King," he said when he came within earshot.

"Heimdall," Odin greeted in reply. "I've come to ask-"

"What became of Svaldifari Sveinson?" Heimdall said, raising an eyebrow. "He resides in Vanaheim, working as a farmhand in exchange for food and a room."

"So he is well, then?" Odin said. It had been almost a century since the lad had vanished without a word, and Loki had been rather... unsurprised about this. He was spending more time with Thor and the Warriors Three. Especially, Odin noticed, Fandral. But lately Loki had been distant, as if a cloud hung over his head at all times now.

"He is," Heimdall said, but there was a slight hesitance in his voice.

"And I'm guessing Loki knows where he is?" Odin asked.

"No," Heimdall said. "Prince Loki knew only that Svaldifari was leaving Asgard." There was a pause.

"Will he come back?" Odin asked. Heimdall tilted his head to the side a bit, blinking slowly.

"I cannot be certain," he said finally. "He was going to, of that I am sure. But now it seems unlikely."

"That is an unfortunate thing," Odin said with a sigh. "He and Loki seemed to be quite the pair." Heimdall gave Odin an unnoticed sideways glance.

"Yes," he replied at length. "They were."

They stood in silence for a few moments before Odin headed back to the palace.

* * *

Frigga was pacing.

This was never a good thing, and Odin watched her with a wary eye as she paced the length of the room for the umpteenth time. "Frigga, what troubles you?"

"Have you not noticed?" She asked, wringing her hands. "He's not left his room in days, Odin.  _Days_! And the servants tell me that rarely eats the things they bring him."

Odin sighed. He  _had_  noticed Loki's behavior changing over the last month. He sighed and stood, putting his arms around his wife. "We'll send Thor to him tonight," he murmured to her. "We'll have dinner. He'll be fine, I assure you. He is strong."

"I know he is," Frigga sighed, not looking convinced, but nodded all the same. "But I worry for him just as a worry for you and Thor." Odin kissed her.

"I will go find Thor," he told her and went off.

* * *

Thor came down to dinner alone, taking his usual seat on Odin's left, Frigga on his right. Odin's eye was closed, but he heard when Thor was seated.

"Where is your brother?" He asked.

"He's coming," Thor assured him, sounding certain. "I will retrieve him if he does not come down soon."

"That will be unnecessary, Thor," Frigga said. 

As it turned out, Loki walked in fifteen minutes later, his hair cut short. Frigga's heart ached, but she smiled and said "Good evening, Loki."

"Good evening, Mother," Loki said, bending to kiss her cheek as he gave a charming smile. "Father," he nodded at Odin and took his seat next to Thor, hands in his lap. Dinner was served and he ate, Frigga watching from the corners of her eyes, noticing that didn't eat much. He pushed some of the food around his plate, silent as Thor talked about the things he'd done that day.

"Loki, have you been well?" Frigga asked when Thor paused for breath.

"Hmm?" Loki looked up, eyebrows raised as he gave her a smile. It wasn't genuine, but he said "Oh, yes. I've been fine. I've been studying hard for the past month."

"On what?" Odin asked, and Loki glanced at him, as if startled by the question.

"Various things," he replied vaguely. "Some charms, some potions. Illusions. I can create one that is identical to myself now."

"That is quite impressive," Odin said and Loki flushed a little, giving a more genuine smile.

"Thank you, Father," he said and ate a little more. He stayed for dessert, but only finished half before excusing himself. Frigga sighed and nodded when Thor asked if he could finish off Loki's dessert. She soon excused herself and went after Loki.

She found him in the gardens, walking almost ghost-like among the flowers, his hands fidgeting with a smallish yellow one with red splotches. She walked over to him and said "May I join you?"

He jumped, dropping the flower. A blush rose to his cheeks and he said "Mother! I-" He flushed. "I didn't hear you approach."

"So I see." She bent and picked up the flower, handing it back to him. They walked in silent, Loki absently picking the petals off the flower, leaving a trail behind them. Frigga looked at him and said "What troubles you?"

"Hmm?" He looked up at her. She smiled.

"What's on your mind?" She asked.

"I-" Loki paused and swallowed, his eyes sliding away from hers. He looked at the destroyed flower in his hands and mumbled "He didn't come back."

"Who, my darling?" She asked, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind his ear.

"Svald," he said, his voice almost inaudible. "He-" He shook his head. "It matters not." He threw the flower stem away, but before he could turn away, Frigga reached out, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I rather think it does," she said. "It is important to you, is it not?" Loki shrugged. "What troubles you, my child?"

Loki clenched his jaw and shook his head. "I don't wish to talk about it."

Frigga sighed softly and said "Very well. But perhaps you would allow my company for a little longer?"

Loki shrugged again. "I wouldn't refuse, my Queen." So she continued to wander around the gardens with him in silence. They stopped at a little pond filled with colored fish, and they sat on a stone bench, watching as they swam by. Finally, Frigga said "So what have you  _actually_ been doing?"

Loki plucked at another flower. "Nothing."

Frigga looked at him and sighed a little, reaching over to rest her hand on top his his, stopping him from destroying the flower any further. She gave it a squeeze and he looked up at her, his eyes glassy and his jaw clenched.

"Why didn't he come back?" Loki asked, his voice trembling. "He said he would. We planned the date, but he never- He didn't-  _Why_?”

Hi voice cracked and Frigga sighed. "Oh, Loki..." She put her arms around him and he fell into her embrace, his shoulders shaking with sobs. She stroked his hair and said nothing, letting him cry until he as quiet again.

"I do not know why he didn't come back," she said, "but sometimes that's just how things are. Sometimes, we don't know why things happen."

"Do you think something happened to him?" Loki asked, his voice small.

"I don't know, darling," she murmured. "I don't know."

Loki shook again. "I don't know if I  _want_  to know," he whispered. "What if something happened to him? What if he's-" Loki broke off, another sob making him clutch at Frigga's sleeve. She stroked his hair and kissed his temple. "And even if he  _is_  okay," Loki continued, voice tight, "what if he- if he found someone else? What if he's forgotten about m-me?"

"Impossible," Frigga said firmly, kissing his temple again. "You, my darling, are  _unforgettable_. And if he has, then he does not deserve you."

"But I-" Loki broke off and scooted closer. Frigga readjusted her grip on him and he whispered "But I  _love_  him, Mama." His voice cracked and Frigga rocked a little as he broke down all over again.

"I know," she whispered back. "And I know it hurts. It may seem unlikely now, but you will heal. You will grow, and you will carry on." He cried again, burying his face into her collar and she whispered "It pains me to see you hurting so, my darling. I wish I could spare you this heartache, but remember that we love you. Your family loves you, Loki, now and forever. Understand?"

Loki nodded and sniffed. "Alright," she murmured and pressed her cheek to the top of his head, whispering soothing nothings. When he pulled away, she didn't stop him. He shuffled away a bit, wiping his eyes as he looked at the ground, still sniffing. "I love you, too," he whispered, voice still a bit shaky. Frigga smiled, cupping his cheek in her hand for a moment. He gave her a flicker of a smile before standing, murmuring "Goodnight, Mother," before kissing her cheek and walking off again. With a sigh, Frigga watched him go, his back straight and his head held high, like nothing had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working on "Fancy Meeting You Here," but this idea hit me so hard and sudden that I just HAD to write it before it got away.


	7. Pasts That Cannot Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own marvel. Obviously.

Odin was looking over the treaty Loki had made with Helbindi, his eyes flicking over the scroll. It was clear that Frigga had written most of it out, being more experienced with ruling. Indeed, she had told him that she had negotiated most of the terms with the head of Jotunheim's guard, Thrym. Being the official rulers, Loki and Helbindi had looked over the terms agreed upon, and had made some adjustments, making things easier on both Realms as a whole.

“All things considered, he did a very good job,” Odin said when he reached the bottom, seeing Loki and Helbindi's signatures, as well as Frigga and Thrym's as witnesses.

“What do you mean 'all things considering'?” Frigga replied, frowning as she looked up from her needlework. “He took care of Jotunheim as best he could. It was not his fault that Laufey decided to betray their agreement. And he was raised to be King, just as Thor was. Why should he not have been a good King?”

“I did not mean it that way, Frigga,” Odin said wearily. She still had not forgiven him for not originally listening to Loki, or for not telling _her_ about Loki approaching him. “I merely meant that he did well considering he was still overwhelmed with finding out about his heritage. I hated to ask so much of the boy, however necessary it was. You know that.”

Frigga smiled. “Aye,” she said. “Loki has a good head upon his shoulders. I expected no less of him.”

Odin hummed in reply, keeping his head down. There was no fine print on the treaty, no loopholes that he could find, though he was sure Loki could find ways around them anyway.

“I'm proud of him,” Odin said as he rolled the treaty back up, putting it away.

“As well you should,” Frigga replied, not looking up. “He works very hard.” She paused before adding “Now all that remains is to tell Thor the truth of _your_ heritage. He knows little of Bestla, much less that she was Jotnar. When do you plan to do that? Or are we simply going to wait for him to discover it on his own like Loki did?”

“Frigga, Thor is not even on Asgard,” Odin said with a sigh.

“You can command him back,” Frigga reminded him. “It would not be hard to fetch him.”

“I cannot,” Odin said.

“Cannot, or will not?” Frigga snapped, putting her needlework aside. “You've let the racism of Asgard go on long enough, Odin. You are half Jotnar, and yet the people of Asgard have forgotten that fact. They have _forgotten_ that their previously beloved Queen was completely Jotnar, and even Thor does not know that he is part! You knew of Thor and Loki's animosity against the Jotnar, yet you did _nothing_ to diminish it. I will admit that I am not completely guiltless either, but it is _your_ history, and _your_ responsibility. We have never even spoken of it!”

“And do you expect Thor to take I well? That while he has insulted the Jotnar he has insulted me as well as Loki?”

“And do you think the people will accept Loki being Jotnar and not Thor?” Frigga shot back. “They accepted Thor more than Loki before. They might respect Loki _now_ , but how long will it take for that respect to diminish when they learn what he is? If they learn that Thor is part Jotnar, they will still accept him, but perhaps they will talk less about the Jotnar. We cannot expect Loki to return to us until things _change_. Perhaps Thor will not take it well, but perhaps it will help him understand Loki just that much more. In fact,” Frigga stood. “Odin, if you do not tell Thor, I will go to Midgard and tell him _myself_. This has gone on long enough! What _would_ Bestla say if she could see Asgard now?”

Odin looked down, away from his wife. “I know,” he murmured. “Many times I think about it. She loved Jotunheim as much as Asgard, if not more. She took many trips there to visit her kin. But even with the alliance, things were always tense between the two Realms; I often heard her and Bor speaking of her sibling, Mimir. Ze was the ruler of Jotunheim at the time and supposedly had a great disliking for Aesir. He and my father did not get on, from what I understand and I hardly remember a time where her kin visited her here, other than her Mor.” Odin thought. “Ze was here quite often, as I recall. She left after Bestla died.”

“I remember zir,” Frigga said thoughtfully. Bestla's mother had always refused to wear an Aesir skin, instead opting to walk around with zir blue skin, white hair often in some elaborate braid, zir blind eyes violet instead of a Jotun's usual red. Ze had carried a stick around, carved with various charms, which ze would whack at your shins with if you were disrespectful or rude. Instead of offering A Look as a warning, ze would give the top of your head a sharp smack. Ze was a very blunt, no-nonsense person, with a rather odd fondness for strawberries.

“You can't find them on Jotunheim,” ze would say if asked about the liking. “And they're strange little things, aren't they? An odd texture, with the seeds on the outside rather that on the inside. And they _smell_ sweet...”

“Ze taught me magic,” Frigga said after a moment. “Or, some of it.” Ze had been an unusually patient teacher, considering ze was usually very _in_ patient.

“Ze taught me some as well,” Odin said. “Ze was always exasperated when I decided to go off after the training grounds.” He paused before adding “I regret some of that now. Ve learned more. Vili tilted more my way.”

“I regret not getting Ve to teach Loki some of that,” Frigga said wistfully. “Perhaps if we had only told him sooner...”

Odin sighed and shook his head. “No point in regretting things that have long since past,” he said.

“True,” Frigga said and collected her needlework. She headed towards the door and added “We can only hope to do better in the future.”

Odin nodded absently. “I'll think about Thor,” he told her. “Thank you.”

“Of course, my love,” she said, and closed the door behind her, smiling at her little victories.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I had a little burst of inspiration on the plane home from Texas today, so I wrote it down. The next chapter of Better Times to Come should be coming along shortly, so keep an eye out!


	8. Grand-moror Torr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waaaaay back. Like, SUPER way back. Odin and Frigga as TEENAGERS type back.
> 
> Basically I got really into Odin's grandmother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.

Many things could be said about the Royal Family. In fact, many things  _were_  said about them, the first of which being that King Bor and Queen Bestla were not in love.

This was, Grand-moror Torr often said, complete and utter  _shit_. (A word that Bestla had not allowed her sons to utter, but they did it anyway when she wasn't around to hear them.)

That wasn't to say that the King and Queen did not argue, they argued all the time, and they were  _loud_. One could hear their arguments from the Throne room to the dungeons and the three Borsons had long since learned to avoid both their parents after an argument, instead rushing to the gardens and pretending that they'd heard nothing.

"Othinn," Odin heard one afternoon and turned to see his blind grand-moror walking towards him, walking stick in hand. Pretending that he hadn't heard zir, he kept walking.

"I know you heard me," ze called and Odin stopped, sighing and waiting for zir to catch up. When ze did, ze reached up and gave the top of his head a sharp tap with zir hand. "Brat," ze said, grinning. "Where are your _zokann_ , Othinn?"

"I don't know," Odin admitted. "Vili was  _supposed_ to meet me in the training yard, but he wasn't there. I was going to check the gardens. I think Vé might be in the gardens?"

"Ahh, that seems likely," the old Jotun nodded, taking hold of his elbow. "Well, lead the way, Othinn."

"Yes, Grand-moror," he said and began to walk, slowly so ze could keep up.

"Faster, child, I am not made of dried leaves!" Torr said impatiently, so Odin sped up. When they got there, they could hear raised voices.

"Oh, no," Odin murmured and Torr sighed and grumbled as Bestla and Bor came around the corner.

"You  _cannot_  ask me to do that, Bor," Bestla snarled, her form rippling in anger, eyes flashing red. "Or have you forgotten that  _I_  am one of them?"

"Bestla, there is unease!" Bor replied. "Unease that  _cannot_  go on. You know I would not ask this of you for any other reason-"

Bestla laughed and Odin felt a chill go up his spine as his mother whipped her black hair from her face, her skin turning blue, the intricate patterns appearing over her skin.

"Do not give me that excuse,  _husband_. You, who have defeated  _countless_  enemies cannot end a simple  _unease_?"

"Darling, you know that the Vanir are bound to start something soon!" Bor said. "I only wish for you and  your mother's safety, as well as the children-"

"No,  _you_  would rather that I be out of the way, so as not to tell you how to run this damn Realm!"

Odin's eyes went wide. If his mother was swearing, things were bad. Torr let go of his arm and sighed again, walking down the steps and over, waving a hand, making both Bor and Bestla's voices vanish.

" _Ahh_. That's better, don't you think?" Ze said, smiling to zimself. "Bestla, do calm yourself,  _eskli_. Shouting and swearing does not become you. Now," ze sat down at a stone bench. "Borr, if you would like me to return to Jotunheim, I will do so. I have not seen my grandchildren there for some time. However Bestla  _and_  the children are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Well," ze added, "perhaps not  _Vili_..."

Bestla's eyes widened and she moved to sit by Torr, distress clear in her eyes as she tried to speak. Torr smiled and began to stroke her hair.

" _Eskli_ , I cannot stay here forever," zer said. "Asgard is not my home, Jotunheim is. You have a family that loves you very much and I have taught your children as much as they will learn. It is time for Vé to learn more Aesir magics, Othinn refuses to learn, and Vili is the same. I have done all I can." Ze tilted zir head to the side and smiled, reaching up to stroke Bestla's long black hair. "And I admit, the thought of retiring is a good one. Othinn is hardy a child now; he is of age. He is strong, determined, and will make a good King when the time comes. Now, instead of worrying about  _me_ , start worrying about the dispute with the Vanir." She patted Bestla's head and waved her other hand, finally allowing the two rulers to speak.

"Mor, please," Bestla said. "If you would like to stay-"

“That is what I am trying to tell you, my child,” Torr sighed. "I am  _ready_  to retire and I cannot bear the thought of retiring anywhere but my homeland. Let Mimir worry about me for a while, hmm?" Ze added, grinning again and giving her a wink.

"Torr, are you sure this is what you would like?" Bor said. "I will not refuse you if you wished to stay."

Torr huffed at him. "Quiet. I made up my mind some time ago. Send someone up to help me pack, I will make my leave in three days. " Ze patted Bestla's head again and stood, leaning on zir walking stick. "Come along, Othinn, let us find your  _zokann_  to tell them the news."

"Yes, Grand-moror," Odin said and took zir arm, leading zir back inside.

As they walked down the hall, a young woman passed them, her auburn hair pulled back and on top of her head. She smiled and said "Good afternoon, your Highnesses."

"Hmm? Who's that now?" Torr said, then smiled. "Ah, Lady Frigga. How is that potion of yours coming along?"

"Quite nicely, thank you," Frigga said, stopping to talk. "And thank you for the advice, it was very useful."

"Glad it helped," Torr said. "Have you seen Vili and Vé anywhere?"

"I saw Vé in the hallway near the dining halls an hour ago," the girl said, considering. "And Vili... I don't think I've seen... Oh! He was headed towards the armory."

"Thank you, Frigga," Torr said. Ze patted Odin's hand and said "Come, Othin, let us retrieve them."

"Thank you, Lady Frigga," Odin echoed and stood awkwardly for a moment before taking Torr's arm and leading her away again. When Frigga had rounded the corner, ze raised a hand and made contact with the back of his head.

"Ow!" He said, rubbing his head and frowning at zim. "What-"

"When are you going to ask her for courtship, you half-wit?" Ze said. "A girl like  _that_  has  _plenty_  of others looking to snatch her up."

Odin felt his cheeks burn. "I don't- She doesn't-"

"Doesn't what? Like you?" Torr huffed. "Get your head back on your neck. Why do you think she has refused every other man? She won't wait forever. Get on with it!"

Odin stayed silent, his face still flushed. Torr sighed and grumbled "I'm getting too old for this. Do you like Lady Frigga or don't you?"

"I do," Odin mumbled, flushing even more.

"Then what are you waiting for, Ymir's blessing?" Torr replied in exasperation. " _Ask_ her. The worst she can say is no."

"Yes, Grand-moror," Odin mumbled.

"Then go!" Ze said, letting go of him and pushing him back down the hall. “Go on! Catch up with her, she's likely going to the gardens for herbs.”

Odin spluttered indignantly and Torr took zir stick and aimed at his shins. " _Go_ ," ze said as Odin yelped and jumped out of reach. "You'll thank me later."

"But what about you?" Odin asked, still eyeing the walking stick.

"What about me? You think I cannot get around on my own?" Ze let out a bark of laughter. "I will find Vili and Vé on my own, not  _get going_  before you lose your chance."

Odin huffed and spun on his heel, walking down the hall, looking back to see Torr still watching him, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Looking forwards again, he turned the corner and ran on back to the gardens where he saw Bestla and Bor again.

"Did you happen to see-" He started, but Bestla raised her eyebrows and grinned.

"Lady Frigga went that way,  _eskli_ ," Bestla replied and waved. Odin looked, and ran on, calling his thanks.

Soon enough, he saw Frigga bending and sniffing some of the flowers, taking out a little pair of shears and clipping some off, putting them in her basket.

"Lady Frigga?" He said, pausing a little ways from her. She looked up and smiled.

"Odin! How many times have I asked you to call me Frigga?"

"Too many to count," he replied, grinning a little. "What are you doing?"

"Collecting," she replied. "Healer Threta asked me to get some things for her," she showed him her basket. "Is there something you need? It is no urgent business that it cannot wait."

Odin swallowed, looking up at her. He took a deep breath and smiled. "Actually," he said, "there  _was_  something I wanted to ask you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so for anyone wondering, I've changed the Jotun word for "sibling" from "sosken" to "zokann". I am, for my own amusement, making a language for the Jotnar with Norwegian and Swedish as my base languages. The reason Torr calls Odin "Othinn" is because in the language I'm making, the letter D is pronounced "Th", and if there's an "N" at the end of a word, it's doubled. There's really no reason she spells "Bor" with two Rs, ze just thinks it's completely hilarious that their names are so similar.
> 
> The inspiration for Torr comes from Toph from "Avatar: The Last Airbender" because Toph is GREAT.
> 
> Just for recap (in case you didn't read all that):  
> Zokann=Sibling(s)  
> Mor=Mother  
> Moror=Grandmother (there's really no reason for Odin to call Torr "grand-moror", but ze thinks it's too funny to tell him otherwise.)  
> Eskli=Darling


	9. Questions for my Readers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GIVE ME FEEDBACK, I BEG YOU I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF FEEDBACK
> 
> I've bolded the more important parts of this if you don't want to read all of it.

Hey guys!

So as you might know, I'm taking the summer/winter to edit everything. This includes taking out some parts, adding new things, and fixing typos/errors with the scene (like making every day Friday type errors).

But I'm a bit conflicted. **I'm considering taking down the original versions of these fics and replacing them with the edited versions. But I'm also considering leaving the originals up and publishing the improved ones when I finish.**

Tell me what you guys think! You can either comment on this, or send me an ask on [my tumblr](http://itsnotmaybelline.tumblr.com/). If there's a certain thing that you just  _adore_ about the series so far (be it a piece of dialog, or a scene, or even just my writing style), or something you think could be improved (do I put too much detail? Not enough?), _tell me_! **I'm _desperate_ for any little bit of feedback that you can give me**. I learn writing by doing it and getting feedback, so you would really be helping me!

Even if you're fine with everything and really  _don't_ have any criticism, tell me. I  _love_ hearing from you guys and feedback is a very valuable thing.

Hope to hear from you soon!

-AlwaysAmused


	10. A Gift and a Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was editing the "Odin meets Sleipnir" chapter of "Different Kinds of Pain" the other night and I got this idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.

Odin was a busy man. Because of this, it was rare he was ever at breakfast, so when Thor wasn't there, he was a bit disappointed, but understanding. Most of the people at his four-thousandth name-day feast would be sleeping in and Thor had drunk quite a lot.

Loki was there, he noted as he sat. The boy smiled at him. “Good morning, Father,” he said and Odin smiled back.

“Good morning, Loki,” he replied, serving himself and began to eat until Frigga nudged him under the table. He glanced at her and looked at Loki who was eating in a rush. The boy could hardly seem to sit still, squirming in his chair and sitting on his hands. “Father?” He said. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh?” Odin said, looking up at him. Loki nodded and he raised an eyebrow. “Is it urgent, or may I finish my breakfast?”

“Yes, you can finish,” Loki said and silenced himself, bouncing again, much like a child. The moment Odin finished, Loki leaped up.

“Come on, come on,” he said and tugged on Odin's arm. “It's outside.”

“I'm coming,” Odin said, exchanging a look with Frigga, who was hiding her smile under her goblet. “Where are we going??

“It's a  _surprise_!” Loki said and grinning. “Come on, you're love it!”

Odin huffed but went along. Loki dashed off in front of him, then paused to look back to check that he was following, bouncing on his toes until Odin got closer, then dashed off again until they reached the field. It was where they trained horses, though there were none about at the moment.

“Wait here,” Loki said when he stopped in front of the boy. “I'll be right back.”

“And what am I waiting for?” Odin asked as Loki dashed off again.

“It's a surprise!” Loki shouted behind his shoulder and Odin smiled, chuckling to himself. Since when did Loki  _shout_? Not since Nidavellir, that was for sure.

It wasn't long before he spotted something walking from the stables. He squinted and raised a hand to block out the sun. “What in the  _Nine_?” He murmured to himself before Loki stopped.

“Loki,” Odin said, looking at the creature in front of him. “What... What  _is_  this?”

“This is Sleipnir,” Loki said, looking proud. “He's very fast.”

“Yes, I suppose he would be,” Odin replied, looking the horse up and down. It was normal looking when you first glanced at it. White with warm brown eyes. But he had eight legs.

_Eight_.

“Why does he have eight legs?” Odin asked as he put a hand out for the horse, Sleipnir, to nuzzle.

“There was an accident,” said the boy on the other side of the horse. He peered over and saw Svaldifari standing there, also grinning.

“I tried to fix him,” Loki admitted. “He was born cripple.”

“And you  _accidentally_  gave him eight legs?” Odin said and laughed in disbelief. He looked the horse over again. “He's a  _fine_  steed,” he said and all things considering, he was. He looked to be in perfect health.

“You like him?” Loki said, eyes widening.

“I do indeed,” he replied, stroking the horse's nose again. “Did you two train him yourselves?”

“Yeah!” Svaldifari said, nodding vigorously.

“He doesn't like many people,” Loki explained. “He's shy and only ;likes a couple other of the stable hands. We had to train him to get to know you.”

“Ah,” Odin nodded, mind wandering back to three months prier. “The pillow? Very clever,” he added when Loki nodded. “Very clever indeed. How did you get him to recognize me?”

hen he next looked at his son, he found he was looking at an image of himself. Svaldifari laughed and Sleipnir huffed as Odin raised his eyebrows. “I see,” he said, nodding and Loki shifted back. Odin returned his attention to the steed and said “Thank you, Loki and Svaldifari. He is the finest steed I've ever laid eye upon.”

“You're welcome, Father,” Loki said. “We'll leave you so you can get to know him a bit. The stable hands know where he goes and he won't give them too much trouble.”

“Thank you,” Odin repeated and Loki left with his friend in tow. Odin looked after them and saw Loki bouncing, unable to hear what the two said. He smiled and said to the horse “Sleipnir. SO  _this_  is what Loki has been doing in his spare time. I had wondered.”

Sleipnir nickered and poked at his pockets for treats. Odin chuckled again and began to lead the horse back to the stables. A fine gift though he was, Odin was glad to see a smile on Loki's face once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I know this doesn't line up with what actually happens in "Different Kinds of Pain," but it's a preview of one of the changes I've made. The new version of "DKoP" has more but somewhat shorter chapters. I'm trying to do what I did with "Fancy Meeting You Here," which was to try and make each chapter about four pages long. Currently, it seems like I made every chapter about six pages long instead.


End file.
